It’s been a while since I’ve really checked in with you, friends. Hi. I’ve missed you. How are you doing?

Part of me feels like I haven’t done much since we last connected. I had lofty goals of spending all of November working to prep classes and new offerings – all of which I still plan on doing! – but most of that fell through the cracks for the last six weeks or so in favor of slowing down, honing in, going quiet, and tending to some personal business.

The truth is, my life has been in upheaval for the better part of 2019. My relationship of 12 years ended and while the breakup itself occurred in May, it wasn’t until early November that the process of fully divesting myself and reclaiming what’s mine was complete. Sifting through the residue and rubble left after the collapse of this Tower has taken the majority of my energy and attention. Externally, it may not appear as though much has changed; but I assure you there has been a massive amount of deep and dirty work going on inside the walls of the new Tower I’ve started to build.

The death of this relationship was one that needed to occur for a long time and in the process I’ve let go of so many false beliefs and narratives about myself, shedding many skins and realigning with the core essence of who I am. At the same time, it has been a major life change which required stamina, sacrifice, and strength — qualities I, at times, was not certain I possessed. Friends, it was fucking hard. And scary. And deeply exhausting. And in spite of all the tears, anger, frustration, sorrow, and grief I’ve tried to maintain an attitude of gratitude around it all because otherwise what’s the point?

In mid-October a friend suggested I pull a series of tarot cards which would serve as the groundwork for moving forward into this new life I’ve been creating for myself all year. The objective was fairly straightforward: I would draw a card for each week beginning October 20th through the first week of December, the week of my birthday, and allow the teachings of the cards to guide and sustain me through this liminal time.

The cards I drew were no small deal. All Major Arcana cards, which felt appropriate since the work I’ve been doing required some major archetypal revamps to various areas of my life, they felt extraordinarily potent and I understood the magic contained in their messages could not and should not be taken lightly.

In order the cards I drew were:

  • Week 1: Death
  • Week 2: The Devil
  • Week 3: The Sun
  • Week 4: Wheel of Fortune
  • Week 5: The Magician
  • Week 6: The Chariot
  • Week 7: Strength
Spolia Tarot deck |

Each has proven to align uncannily with what the weeks hath wrought, and I look forward to sharing it all with you once it’s complete / I’m ready. It is currently Strength week, and my birthday week (it’s Thursday!), which serves as the culmination of this project as well as a pivot point into the next 12 months and the last year of my 30s.

These past six weeks have been both light and dark, at various times and in various ways, and sometimes neither the light nor the darkness was borne out of the places I expected. Some weeks I thought, oh, it’s [insert card here] week, here’s what this week will be about and then life / the Universe / Spirit / my intuition intervened to say nuh-uh, girl. Guess again. It was these unexpected twists and turns that made this journey illuminating, juicy, and so worthwhile.

Before I wrap this up I would like to give a loving shout-out to those who were there for me this year, who showed up and showed support, who believed in me, who let me cry all over them, who made me laugh and remember who I am, who reminded me that I am capable of giving and receiving love, who listened and heard me, who stood by me even when it was unpleasant to do so, who saw me for me and said, you’re amazing. The support network I have assembled is top-notch and I am so ridiculously lucky to have you all in my life. My gratitude is endless and I love you all.

Until next, friends, please know I’ve been thinking of you and that I’m really looking forward to sharing with you the fruits of these past weeks. I’ll also be announcing some events coming up later this month as we transition from the last decade of the twenty-teens into THE FUTURE.

I love you.

See you soon.

One thought on “A Check-in from the Void

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